Dr. phil. Dipl. psych. LINDA Marie LEVA
Psychotherapist, Couples Therapist, Coach
©2020 Linda Marie Leva. All Rights Reserved Deutsch
This is an interactive project in progress that I am just now moving online. Your comments, suggestions, stories and ideas are wellcome. Pease feel free to use the email address or the contact section to get in touch with me. At present, I am working full time with clients, working out new blogs and looking for and negotiating with a publishing house home for my book both in English and in German (www.augenhoeheliebe.net ) I am looking forward to hearing from you.
COLLABORATIVE LOVE
- overcoming discrimination in the couple-
by
Linda Marie Leva
Bullying is a virile and barely processed remnant of the past ages of abuse of power in the services of material gain. Most people in our culture have bullied in their relationships, i.e. they have hurt someone in their intimate sphere with words, gestures, intonation, or other harmful communication. The problem is usually looked at from the victim`s perspective and there is some very good advice for them to be found online, ie in Psychology Today.
In general, people are not very happy about the fact that they repeatedly participate in discreditation of loved ones and others - either as victims or as perpetrators. This book breaks down the harmful phenomenon in your private life in such a way that both victims and perpetrators can enjoy the transformation of self and partnership.
Although very personal, the phenomenon is a by-product of a hierarchal culture that builds on competition and the satisfaction of material needs. We are going through a fundamental change in society, whereby emotional well-being is becoming center field.
Topics to talk about
Here is a small selection of what I am fascinated by!
Our ability to co-create our lives, nowadays, means that we could all be happy in our intimate relationships, if we only knew how. Psychologists know what kinds of feelings, thoughts and behaviors happy couples cultivate. However, to practice happiness in our own relationships we need to clean out many of our communication habits that have become both personally and socially outdated and worthy of disposal. A fundamental change in society is taking on momentum. Rebecca Costa, among others has pointed out not only how our cultur as we know it is collapsing, but also how our neurobiology is guiding us into a paradigm change. We are moving from the normality of everyday sadism and discrimination to eye level encounters, team work and collaboration. Communication and relationships begin at home. With a bit of curiosity, individuality and playfulness, we can achieve today both a healthy sense of our worthiness and the satisfaction of equality in intimacy
Introduction
-beloved bully-
The smallest political unit that society has is the couple. Practicing contempt in the intimacy of the relationship with your loved one reflects our culture of violence, competition and exploitation. The good news is that biology itself has equipped us with everything we need to achieve a much better quality of life in a playful and personal way. Mary and Allen Ivey for example have taken counseling to a political level to gently and sustainably influence discriminative communication. Intimacy´s function by nature is to breed joy!
autonomous and collaborative
Bringing yourself up to eye level communication is essential for collaborative love. Louise Hay has developed many ways to bring yourself up to eye level joy. This desideratum is a playful journey into the depths of appreciation, worthiness and dignity. Autonomy and independence is a prerequisite for equality in the couple.
The developmental phases of a healthy intimate relationship
Every couple´s relationship develops along a sequence of phases, each of which challenges the partnership and the individuals involved in very specific and different ways. Bader and Peterson discovered how to use this natural process to support the quality of the life in a couple. As we learn to master the tasks we are confronted with, not only the couple matures. The human need for autonomy can be best satisfied within the framework of a happy bond.
contact
email: leva@collaborative-love.com
Address: Droysenstr. 4, D -10629 Berlin, Germany
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©2020 Linda Marie Leva. All Rights Reserved
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