I was   born in the United States in 1950, at a time when “mental cruelty”, a legal term justifying divorce at the time, was the only way of referring to psychological abuse.  In an exploitive society, any “use” of an available human, that you could get away with, was considered legitimate.

As a two-year-old, I was still mainly living within the sensory-motor exploratory phase of brain development, enjoying life to its fullest.

As a four-year-old, in the middle of the development of imaginative intelligence, Ispent a lot of time in a closet with cuddly blankets, where I calmly and innocently imagined being in the respective roles of various family members, who regularly hurt each other´s feelings. 

The episode that triggered my own bullying behavior (see introductory chapter of my book) took place between the ages of five and six.

When I was 7, I was given eye-glasses that made the world look ugly, sharp-edged and full of kaleidoscope-images. They made me dizzy and impeded movement flow, thereby making me sick and awkward.  I became the target for ridicule in the family and in school. This also marked the beginning of my causal thinking phase of brain evolvement.  I was gaining a growing understanding of the power of argumentation and the often truth-clouding “logic” of debating techniques. 

After largely overcoming puberty, I became increasingly outraged at injustice and exploitative harm to other living beings. The student movement in the late 1960s repeatedly drove me away from my art studies at college to do political work, mainly on the streets and with the songs of my own duo.  I did not know the term for abstract intelligence, but I knew what made sense to me and what behavior was not coherent thoughout all the levels of intelligence.   It was at this time that I developed a passion for the I-CHING: The Book of Changes, which discloses natural laws in terms of behavior options.

I came to Europe when I was, 19 and found myself the object of the “foreigner” reference frame of the people around me.  At that point I noticed that it was a bit boring and irritating, but had no notion that it could be a form of prejudice or discrimination. It was the time of Willi Brandt.  West Germany seemed to me to be a utopia fulfilled, with market economy well balanced with social responsibility.  I was also deeply impressed by the way the Germans dealt with their guilt in relationship to the genocide they had practiced during the Nazi-Period, whereas all other nations at the time apparently washed their exploitative hands in innocence. 

In 1974, when I was working as an art therapist with "mentally disturbed and disabled" children, I discovered by chance that I obviously had a gift as a therapist.  Nobody could explain my successes to me, which is why I then studied psychology.  Much later looking back, I realized that I had used the communication style of inclusion, thereby establishing a kind of equality, under which the children flourished. 

At the university, I encountered the theories of Kant and Hegel and the work of the biologist Piaget, who studied the development of intelligence in children.Finally, I understood another important aspect of the success of my art therapy work.  Apparently, I had tuned into the individual developmental level of each child during each encounter, while we were collaborating on our “art projects”.  Later, I explored the effect of doing just that while working with people suffering under depression.  It became my research project for both my master’s thesis and later for my doctoral thesis.  An interview on a well-broadcast radio station, secured me the "test subjects" I needed for my project and also for the first “patients” in my own psychotherapeutic practice, which I opened in 1980.  At that time, I was active in the organization of international symposia. I gave lectures and published in professional journals.Overlapping that passion was my work as a couple’s therapist, which I began even during my university studies.In that framework I discovered and immediately began implementing the work of colleagues who successfully applied Piaget's developmental phases to couple therapy. 

When the psychotherapy association decided against legal support for my professional status as a certified psychotherapist with my own practice because of my American citizenship, I withdrew from public life.  I privatized and shifted my excess energy to horseback riding, Argentine tango, creative and social activities outside of my beloved profession and a potpourri of other experiences that enhanced my work as a therapist and coach. "paarweise", a group couple therapy project for was short-lived, because I was already overbooked with individual clients, couple therapy and counseling small businesses.In addition to that I had no marketing skills!  Later I participated for two years in an anti-violence training for men in prison, which moved my heart deeply and brought about remarkable changes in the violent offenders and my understanding of how any kind of violence functions and can be transformed.

In January 2020 I made a trip on my own, which I originally wanted to take with my lover.  He, however, had reverted to an everyday habit of meanness in intimacy that he simply could not overcome.  His change from loving courtship to bullying began suddenly when he thought he had "bagged" me as a partner.  Once I got over my shock and back down to the beautiful reality of tangible transformation, I started to write.  In the meantime, the Zeitgeist seems perfect for my message.  It feels like my whole life has led me exactly to this topic. The time is ripe, I trust that my words can be heard now. It is a joy to be able to present it to all those interested in or touched by this issue.  I am delighted to share the fruits of my professional and personal life experiences with you and to make them available for your personal development.